A new type of atomic clock has been developed which promises a revolution in timekeeping.
Typically national physics laboratories, such as NIST in the United States, develop the most precise atomic clocks. But today the best clock comes from NUTS, a quiet but intense collection of clock enthusiasts, with too much time on their hands.
Atomic clocks in use today are based on hyperfine resonances of elements, mostly found on the left edge of the periodic table: Hydrogen, Rubidium and Cesium.
The new timekeeper is based on telepathic resonances of the element Unobtanium, recently discovered by James Cameron. The element is more clearly seen in the 3D version of the periodic table. A million times more accurate than Rb or Cs, Un-based clocks, or Unclocks, may someday redefine the second. Cameron has shown it ticks precisely at billions of times per dollar.
The design for the clock evolved through an long series of messages posted on the 'NUTS mailing list.
Upon hearing of the new clock, Dr BruceG quickly found fault with the resonator design, posted schematics with corrections and provided links to several papers describing how this technology was considered by NASA decades ago. MarkS has a new version of LH to support GPS disciplined versions of Unclocks. BobC explained how distribution of Un atoms in the crystal lattice make this clock immune from all environmental effects.
DavidP has a frequency divider board planned for the new clock. WarrenS predicts his little tester will easily measure the noise floor of the new device. JohnM will test this using his remote tcp/ip connection. MagnusD posted details on how accurate GPS would be if they used Unobtanium clocks. JohnA is planning a TAPR kit version of the clock (but each user will have to obtain their own Unobtanium).
The true purpose of BillH driving all around the Southwest is now clear - the hunt for sources of Un is now on. TomF plans instead to hit every government surplus store in the Northeast to locate hidden samples of the element. RexA recently found a jar containing trace amounts of Unobtanium at Home Depot. All three of these 'NUTS plan to make clocks out of their Un finds.
TomVB found two Unclocks on eBay and posted Allan deviation plots of their performance on his web site. And because Un is so much more accurate than Cs, he has already measured relativistic time dilation by simply walking upstairs with one of the Unclocks and watching Pirates of the Caribbean with his kids (2.2 picoseconds).
Speaking of Einstein, a re-reading of original manuscripts has shown he actually meant T=mc2, which relates (T)ime and (m)oney. The bomb, one Los Alamos scientist was heard to say, was all the result of a typo. Sorry. The combination of ultra-precise Unclocks and this new equivalence has revolutionary consequences.
This equation was actually known to the military in the early days of NAVSTAR GPS. The MANNA (Money And Navigation in North America) version of the satellite constellation was to be used to convert time into money and beam it to all households in the US. Unfortunately the goal of government money from the sky had to wait until more accurate clocks were devised.
The development of Unclocks finally makes this dream possible. In fact, USNO (US Naval Observatory in Washington DC) which is the source of all timing for GPS, is now converting their old atomic fountain clocks from Rubidium and Cesium to Unobtanium.
How it works: precise money from Washington DC is converted to precise time by USNO and converted back to precise money by Unclocks onboard the 32 orbiting GPS satellites. Harnessing this Einstein conversion of time and money is the key to the Administration's stimulus plan (and the real reason why they shutdown Loran-C). Many nations are now jumping on the GPS bandwagon and developing their own time-is-money systems.
Furthermore it has been revealed that scientists working at CERN also knew of the missing Einstein equation. "Higgs Schmiggs," whispered a European spokesperson, "the plan all along was to create Time from billions of euros. There are more than enough particles already; more time is what everyone wants."
The new Einstein equivalence principle, the mass production of ultra precise Unclocks, and the upgrade of GPS may someday enable Atomic Time Machines (ATM) to appear on almost every corner dispensing precise amounts of time or money. With neither in shortage an end to world hunger is finally possible.
For further information do a Topeka search for Unobtanium Clock.